Although Samuel Harvey questioned his sexuality after his partner came out as non-binary, he knew he had to “support them unconditionally as their true self”.
They explained to me that they had been questioning their gender identity for some time and felt that whilst they mostly presented as masculine, they felt that they just didn’t identify with the traditional definition of male, and therefore wished to go by he/they pronouns.
As a gay man, this made me question my own sexuality. If I was dating a non-binary person did this still make me gay? Was I bisexual or pansexual now, as I was attracted to someone of a different gender to myself?
After a lot of internal soul searching and talking with my partner, I came to the realisation of several things that I want to share with the hopes of helping someone who finds themselves in a similar situation.
Firstly, regardless of how I was feeling, the most important takeaway from this was that my partner loved and trusted me enough to be transparent with me about something so personal and that had been kept to themselves up until now. This meant a lot to us both and I think it’s something that should be remembered if someone close to you comes out.
I thought about what it must have taken emotionally to tell me such a personal thing about themselves. The person could be really worried that you might take it the wrong way too – there are far too many people who lack the emotional maturity to appreciate what it means to have someone come out to you and how honoured you should feel to be trusted with this. Continue reading