“Living constantly appeared rather unimportant, in the place of outstanding events, besides my personal matrimony and also the delivery of youngsters. Alternatively, since I happened to start keeping a record, I appear to have learned that a term otherwise a keen intonation should be exactly as important, or even more, than the circumstances we’re accustomed to imagine very important. ”
When we is discover ways to see the tiniest items that happen each and every day, upcoming possibly we are able to learn to it really is comprehend the secret definition regarding life
Into the November 1950 40 –three-year-old Valeria Cossati requests a black notebook regarding an excellent tobacconist – a great “forbidden” items as the tobacco cigarette is not permitted to offer not smoke in order to his consumers. Their log records provide us with a windows on the Valeria’s house, their own friends, and Valeria by herself since documented across the 2nd half a year. Valeria’s life spins up to their unique friends – their own husband Michele, along with her several grown up youngsters Riccardo and you may Mirella. Economically he is taking by but they are perhaps not really-out of. Valeria is not just a homemaker also works to complement her husband’s income- an undeniable fact that was frowned upon posta sipariЕџi gelini ol because of the her own mom whoever family unit members comes from a whole lot more affluent root. Valeria are trapped when you look at the a traditional relationships even with their own obtaining the freedom working. She actually is conflicted however, not able to express their unique genuine feelings, truthfully providing it can crack the delicate harmony she’s got centered in her family relations with greater regularity that not from the rates of stifling her very own wishes and you will wishes.
“We usually have a want to confide inside an income person, not just in it computer. However, We have never been capable. More powerful than the need to help you confide is the anxiety about damaging something which I was constructing every day, having twenty years, the one thing We enjoys.”
She and additionally offers their own budding relationship that have a colleague, a relationship that will not have a good preconceived band of requirement, in lieu of every their particular other matchmaking
Valeria is anxious and you can ate of the thoughts out of guilt and you may fears one to her wonders log might possibly be found. Several times during their own log she offers exactly how hard it is to own their to cover up that it record and how she possess altering where she enjoys it. She yearns to possess good “space” one to she can call her very own – their own room is occupied because of the her spouse just who uses day paying attention so you’re able to musical or reading in his spare time, their unique people has their unique room and you may she actually is leftover to help you produce their own records at night immediately following men and women are sleep from inside the lingering concern with being discovered.
“Because when We write-in which laptop, I believe I am committing a significant sin, a great sacrilege: it is because if I was conversing with the fresh new demon. Starting it, my personal hands tremble; I am afraid. I comprehend the light profiles, the fresh thick synchronous lines willing to get the chronicle away from my personal future weeks, and even before I have stayed all of them, I am disturb. I’m sure you to definitely my personal reactions to your facts I write down in detail direct me to see me personally far more intimately every day. Maybe you can find individuals who, once you understand themselves, can improve; nevertheless most useful I know me, the more missing I feel.”
Valeria’s “forbidden” computer, is a local store to own her most private opinion, a place she will vent their frustrations, rage, and frustration towards the their unique relationships, their husband, their particular students and life generally. Valeria’s log gives their own a voice and also the possible opportunity to become by herself and you can discover herself even if she actually is not able to show a similar which have somebody. Valeria fight because the she reflects on her relationship and you can tries to keep the prices and you will standards she’s got honored every their own life. She is incapable of get together again toward means their own people, their daughter in particular chooses to direct their particular. Their own partner features their problems with Marilla so you’re able to “maternal jealousy” which provides you an idea of how marginalized Valeria is actually her very own household.